Years ago, I pastored a very busy church in Nashville, TN whose demands filled nearly every hour of my life with lots of ministry activities:  people to visit, phone calls to make, sermons to write, Bible studies to prepare, as well as the day-to-day routine of keeping it all moving forward.  It was one of the most demanding and at the same time, one of the most exciting chapters in my life.  As I look back, there is much I don’t miss about serving there… meetings, committees, late hours.  But then again, there is also much that I do miss.  I miss the community.  I miss the preaching.  I miss the excitement of never knowing what a day might bring.  I miss the hope of making a difference in someone’s life.

In those days, there was a homeless man with whom I developed a friendship.  His name was Vance, and for over a decade he was a regular at our door.  He would show up periodically needing a little cash.  He always insisted that it was for getting into the Room In The Inn program downtown.  Getting a warm meal and bed for the night came at the cost of a $5 donation.  He would always ask me for $10… enough for 2 nights.  He was always very consistent during the winter months when the weather was colder.  His was a weekly visit with a weekly request for cash.  And though our church policy suggested never giving out any cash, my personal policy was to do what I could in any given moment.  It’s not that I am some model of Christian piety… I am not.  But there are times when compassion would rule the day and I would open up my wallet.  It’s funny now, looking back at those moments.  The money seems rather insignificant in comparison to helping someone in need.

I helped him so many times that I got to the point I almost resented doing so.  Can I admit that?  I use to wrestle with the right thing to do and would grow a little weary whenever I saw him ring the buzzer to get into the building.  But here’s what seemed so odd to me.  Whenever he came by, he always told me that he loved me, not in order to get the cash or gain favor, but because I think he really did.  Ever have a homeless man tell you that he loves you?  In those moments I could sometimes hear Christ whisper through his voice… and then I would wonder, if the homeless man ever heard Christ whisper through mine.

            Sometimes the expression of love can be found in the oddest of places.  It’s always nice, maybe even heart-warming when someone tells you that you are loved, especially when it comes from an unexpected source, or an unexpected place, or at an unexpected moment.  There are those in our lives from whom we expect such an expression… spouses, parents, children, and close friends.  But then sometimes the phrase comes completely out of right field, from a voice we were not expecting to hear.  I find a lot of grace in such a moment.  And I wonder if there is a boomerang effect in play.  Instead of waiting for someone to tell you that you are loved, what if you become the catalyst?  What if you are the one who willingly, freely, and joyfully tells someone else that they are valued, loved, and important?  Sometimes we all need to hear such words directed at us.  And sometimes, we need to let the voice of Christ whisper through us.

            It’s been my experience that we often assume someone else knows of our affection and appreciation in their lives.  Maybe the friendship has spanned many decades.  Maybe the listening ear you have provided through the years conveys a feeling of deep connection.  Maybe the consistent presence you have offered in their lives, even during tough times, is enough to demonstrate how you feel.  But then, for some reason, we shy away from a verbal expression of our compassion for them.  But sometimes it’s the verbal expression that they desperately need to hear.  Everyone you know is struggling.  Everyone.  There is not a person in your circle that couldn’t use a little encouragement.  Why assume that they would know of your support and compassion and concern, when you have the ability to actually tell them?

            There is a lot of grace conveyed when you speak of love.  It lifts the spirit. It speaks of worth.  It conveys security and community.  It makes life a little more bearable and a little more hopeful.  Make sure that you say it often enough to those who expect it and even to those who don’t.